Back to basics: managing mental health

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Kate Rogers shares practical strategies for looking after yourself at university

“These will be the best years of your life.”

That’s what everyone tells you before you go to university. What no one tells you is how disorienting and confusing it can feel when they aren’t.

By the summer of my first year, I was quietly struggling to admit that university wasn’t living up to the version I’d imagined. I had pictured independence feeling empowering and friendships forming effortlessly. Instead, I felt slightly out of step, smiling in photos, showing up to lectures, but counting down the days until I could go home. A new city and new friendships had felt exciting at first, but I always found myself on the first train back at every break, emotionally and physically drained, as though I’d been holding my breath for weeks.

Students reporting mental health difficulties have nearly tripled in recent years, according to the Policy Institute at King’s College London and Transforming Access and Student Outcomes of Higher Education (TASO).

With everything unfamiliar and suddenly being responsible for every corner of my own world, from finances to friendships to my future, the pressure felt constant. Small decisions felt enormous. My anxiety, grew louder in the quiet moments. I questioned whether I was doing university ‘right’, or whether everyone else had received some unspoken guidebook that I’d somehow missed.

I’ve come to realise that I rarely get things right on the first attempt. More often than not, it takes a few false starts before something fits, before plans begin to work, before I feel steady. University has been no exception. Learning through trial and error and sometimes through failure, has been unavoidable and uncomfortable.

Now, at 20 and fighting my way through my final months at university, I want to offer some honest reflections for current or prospective students who might need advice beyond “make the most of it… best years of your life.”

Sometimes the most important thing to know is that if these aren’t the best years of your life, you’re not doing anything wrong.

Every example I share comes from my lived experience, or from friends and fellow Exposure contributors who are at university or have recently finished.

Back to basics
Once the initial excitement of university settles, it becomes surprisingly easy to forget how to look after yourself. The structure that once held your days together quietly disappears, and with it, the habits you didn’t even realise were supporting you. These are things most of us did automatically at school age (and feel so obvious when written down), eating regularly, leaving the house, sleeping properly, yet at university they suddenly become optional. No one reminds you. No one checks in. And that freedom can feel heavier than expected.

It sounds simple, almost too simple to matter, but when these basics slip, everything else feels much harder.

Go outside
One habit that came up again and again in my conversations, and in a survey I conducted for this article with 10 students from around the country, was going outside regularly.

For me, going outside meant running in my first year, pole dancing in my second, and hitting the gym in my third. Each of these gave me a reason to leave my room, release stress, and feel a sense of purpose.

For others, it could be walking to campus, or a trip to the local park, making sure they attended seminars and lectures, or just stepping out of their room for a while, which helped break the day up and feel less isolating.

I put this first because I think it is the most important. Going outside at least once a day feels self-explanatory, but it is incredibly easy to let the habit slip. Think of yourself like a plant, you need sunlight, especially in the winter months. Even a short walk for twenty minutes in the fresh air can make a surprising difference to your mood, energy, and focus.

Eat well, sleep well, feel well
For some people, going outside every day, eating well, and getting enough rest is not enough to get rid of their mental health struggles. Sometimes additional support, like speaking to a counsellor, joining a wellbeing group, or accessing other mental health resources, can also be very necessary. However, trying your hardest to set up a good foundation of wellness is so helpful in managing the rest of your struggles.

For me, managing my anxiety symptoms is significantly easier when I am well hydrated and not exhausted, and while I love chatting with my friends until 2am sometimes, I have to check in on whether that is really the best idea for me long term.

It is easy to let go of the basics as an adult who is just learning to look after themselves, so make sure that you use those basics as a stepping stone to hit your other goals. Once you have the right fuel, you’ll be much better equipped to tackle everything else.

Speaking is healing
Talking to someone can look different for everyone, but in my view it’s one of the most powerful ways to feel supported. Some people use professionals, most universities offer counselling services and some turn to friends, family, or partners. Whoever it may be, staying connected and communicative when moving out alone makes a real difference.

When I got into my second year, I set a goal for myself to make two non-housemate social arrangements. I found setting small, non-academic goals for myself a good way to make improvements in my life. Sometimes a social call was going for coffee with a new friend and sometimes it was just doing to a dance class. Having a hobby helped me a lot gave me confidence that by the end of every week, I had been social and spoken to people.

For more pressing concerns, I did seek mental health support in the first semester of my third year. I have a very comfortable relationship with therapy, but I know it can be tough for some people to open up to a stranger. This is where my fourth tip comes in.

Be brave
Within my survey, no one mentioned this, but I could totally feel that all of the participants had been through a journey, a journey which ultimately showed a lot of resilience. I think going to university is already unbelievably brave, but getting there isn’t the hardest part, it’s what comes after you arrive. In my experience, continuing to be proactive throughout your years of study takes everything you’ve got!

Thinking too far ahead is the easiest way for me to curl up in a ball, get decision paralysis, and give up. Right now, I am testing myself  in small, daily bouts of bravery: speaking to that person in the gym, going to that office hour, or opening up about my feelings to someone I trust. When everything builds up, I feel like I’m wilting like an unwatered plant, and being brave feels like the last thing I can manage.

But getting up and out of the house can sometimes be enough, and giving yourself grace while acknowledging the things you can do is far more productive than attacking yourself for the things you can’t.

Maybe university won’t be the best years of your life, and maybe they don’t need to be. Behind the highlight reels, many of us are quietly learning how to live independently for the first time, figuring out what we need and how to look after ourselves. For me, it has been messy, challenging and sometimes overwhelming, but also full of learning in ways I never expected. I’m still learning, still anxious on some days and still trying again when things don’t go right. If you feel the same, you’re not behind, you’re just human, doing life in your own way.

If you ever need support, you don’t have to face it alone. Here are some UK services for students:

• Student Minds: Guidance and support specifically for students
• Shout: Free, confidential text support available 24/7. Text SHOUT to 85258
• The Mix: Counselling and advice for under-25s on stress, anxiety, and loneliness. Call 0808 808 4994