Self-harm: beneath the surface
November 5, 2024
Content creation support and artwork by Finn Souter with stills from Dear Me, Dear You film ©Exposure
Jamie Aldridge discusses self-harm and recovery and SJ shares her experiences
Content Warning: this article explores the root causes of self-harm and may be distressing to read
Self-harm is a deeply personal and often misunderstood issue, particularly for young people who feel isolated and overwhelmed by life’s challenges. It involves intentionally hurting yourself, as a way to deal with difficult feelings or overwhelming situations. It’s important to know that self-harm isn’t about seeking attention. It’s often a way to deal with emotional pain, stress or trauma.
In fact, many of us engage in behaviours that could be considered self-harm without even realising it. Overworking, excessive drinking, taking drugs or unhealthy eating can all be harmful to our wellbeing. While these actions are more socially accepted, they serve the same purpose, managing emotional distress in ways that ultimately damage us.
Adolescence is a particularly vulnerable time. The emotional strain of academic pressures, relationship issues or experiences of loss and abuse can make coping harder, sometimes leading to harmful behaviours.
For me, self-harm became part of my life in the later years of secondary school. I was under incredible pressure to succeed academically, while struggling to navigate the complex social expectations of teenage life. I was also having problems at home, as a young carer, and was bullied for five of my seven years at secondary school. All the stressors had been building up for years.
As I got older, I found healthier coping mechanisms, but self-harm did serve a purpose
Eventually I felt unable to cope with the pressure and didn’t have an outlet for my pain until I discovered self-harm. It was a way to cope with the intense feelings of pain and distress. It was about trying to regain control over a life I felt I couldn’t change.
As I got older, I found healthier coping mechanisms, but at that point in my life self-harm did serve a purpose. Though it’s clearly not a healthy way to cope, the pain I created on the outside did help me cope with the pain on the inside.
According to a BBC report, over 25,000 children in the UK aged 8 to 17 were hospitalised for self-harm in the year ending March 2022. This alarming statistic highlights that many young people are struggling with their mental health, turning to self-harm to help cope with difficult and overwhelming feelings.
Here are some common triggers:
- Low self-esteem: young people who struggle with self-worth may harm themselves as a form of punishment or to express feelings of inadequacy.
- Emotional distress: feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety, shame or frustration can lead someone to self-harm, offering a temporary release from emotional pain.
- Trauma: past experiences, such as bullying, abuse or loss, can leave deep psychological scars, prompting self-harming behaviour in order to cope.
- Mental Health issues: conditions like depression and anxiety often co-occur with self-harm, creating a vicious cycle that can be difficult to escape.
- Peer influence: sometimes, the behaviour of friends or peers can lead someone to explore self-harm as a way to fit in.
Overwhelmed by confusion and despair, I hurt myself, hoping for a release from the chaos in my head
I talked to SJ, and her story shows how sharing our experiences and breaking the silence is so important. She opened up to me about her experience with self-harm:
“On the face of it, I probably looked like a typical 17-year-old, balancing school pressures, hanging out with friends, and pouring myself into my art. But inside, I was drowning, caught in waves of anxiety and self-doubt.
After a painful breakup with someone I’d idolised, and constant tension with my parents, I started to feel more and more isolated. A lot of people took my ex’s side, and the strain on my friendships grew.
One night, I came home late, drunk, feeling completely overwhelmed with confusion and despair and I hurt myself. I was hoping for some kind of release from the chaos in my head.
What started as a desperate attempt to escape, quickly spiralled into a cycle that left me feeling even more lost, trapped and ashamed. I felt like my friends were coping with their stuff, while I was falling apart. Hurting myself seemed to be the only thing that gave me a momentary release from the pain and frustration inside. The more I kept my feelings to myself, the more it felt like I was going to explode.
Self-harm is a serious issue that many people face, and it can often feel like you’re going through it alone
Eventually, I discovered a helpline. Despite my anxiety, I knew I desperately needed help to change. I spoke with a lovely person who guided me through my feelings. Gradually, I began to find healthier alternatives whenever I felt the urge to harm myself. Painting and collaging became my lifelines, helping me get through the darkest times.”
Self-harm is a serious issue that many people face, and it can often feel like you’re going through it alone. Talking about what you’re feeling can be a game-changer.
If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out to a trusted adult or someone you feel comfortable with. Whether it’s a teacher, a counsellor or a family member, sharing your thoughts can help lighten that heavy load. Remember, there are people out there who genuinely want to support you to find better ways to express yourself.
Check out these organisations that focus on supporting young people who self-harm. They provide invaluable resources, counselling and community support:
If you’re struggling to cope and need someone to talk to, you can call the NHS on 111 (choose option 2) for mental health support, no matter your age. Alternatively, under 18s can call Childline on 0800 1111. You can call Childline for free from any phone, and the number won’t show up on any phone bills. Both services are available 24/7. In a medical emergency, call 999 or go to your local Accident & Emergency department.
Watch Exposure’s impactful film, Dear Me, Dear You. Created by young people, it serves as a good resource for raising awareness about self-harm and encouraging important conversations about mental health.
