Time away from others helps you find yourself
January 31, 2019
Photograph by Lukas_Rychvalsky from Pixabay
Naomi Shoretire explains how being alone doesn’t mean being lonely
There’s nothing wrong with being alone sometimes. Solitude can mean taking a step back from others and towards yourself. This can be beneficial to anyone, whether you are more extroverted (left feeling energised by the presence of many people) or more introverted (left feeling drained by the presence of many people).
Being alone and feeling lonely are two different things as it is possible to feel lonely even when you are surrounded by people. When you are alone it usually means that there is no one around you. Loneliness on the other hand could suggest an emotional disconnectedness from other people or an invisible barrier that leaves you on the outside, looking in.
It may sound clichéd but being alone can allow you to ‘find yourself’ and show you who you are when there is no one around to present yourself to.
Viewing solitude as a positive concept provides the opportunity to find new interests or stops you from not doing something because no one you know is interested in it.
There are many hobbies that you can do in your own time, at your own pace and in your own space. Writing, drawing, reading, baking, cooking, photography, etc… The list is endless. Not to mention, we live in a digital age where knowledge is just at our fingertips. It has never been easier to learn a new skill just because you want to.
Maybe instead of seeing being alone as the absence of others, we should see it as being with ourselves
YouTube, Google, blogs or websites such as ‘skill share’ exist for you to make use of it. It is also beneficial to get up-and-moving if you can, from yoga, walking, swimming, to dancing, hiking, and running. You do not necessarily need other people to do things you enjoy.
The best thing that you could do for others when they need to be alone is respect their need for space and not take it personally. Everyone needs some alone time at some point.
If someone has the mindset that being alone is inherently bad, then it could help to change this way of thinking. There’s this concept of taking yourself on ‘dates’ where you go out and do something you enjoy but on your own, like going to get something to eat, visiting an art gallery or seeing a film.
It diminishes the idea that being alone is only ever boring or no fun and teaches you how to enjoy your own company. Maybe instead of seeing being alone as the absence of others, we should see it as being with ourselves.
There is nothing wrong with having some alone time and there is equally nothing wrong with wanting to be around people. If someone finds they want to be sociable then, in this day and age, it is relatively easy to reach out via social media.
Whether it is skyping, messaging or phoning a friend, or maybe looking for a way to partake in your hobbies with other people by, for example joining a dance group/class. Join activities that will put you in contact with people who share the same interests as you.
If you are struggling with loneliness then, weirdly enough, you are not alone. Do not be afraid to reach out and talk to the right person or people as it can always help. The charity Mind have many resources to help with loneliness on their website.
