Looking on the bright side during the pandemic

December 2, 2020

Collage by Exposure with image of girl by DanaTentis from Pixabay

Toyah describes her thoughts and feelings during lockdown and beyond

Due to this coronavirus outbreak I haven’t been able to do the things I wanted to do this year. I honestly thought that this was going to be the best year so far…but it appears not. I feel like this has been the worst. I’ve not been able to do the things I had planned or wanted to do.

During this lockdown I have lost my uncle due to his medical problems and that got me down a lot because I was close to him and it hurt to hear the news that he had passed away. I was not able to go to the funeral to say my goodbyes or anything due to this coronavirus.

I was also hoping to go to prom with my mates which I was looking forward to and everything that goes with it, such as the dress and shoe shopping, and getting my hair done and my nails. It was going to be great but it can’t happen; like most things.

One thing that I was ecstatic about was going to Italy with my school; not only was it going to be my first holiday aboard, my best friend was going. Ee were talking about it a lot and hyping each other up about it as it came closer to the time. Then we weren’t able to go and we had a cry about it at school. We were both really upset.

However, I do try and look on the bright side to things and how I will be able to go traveling aboard in the future.

I don’t know if I’ll get on the course that I wanted to do at college, but there is always another way

I was also due to be a bridesmaid for my foster sister at her wedding which was supposed to be in June but due to these unfortunate circumstances I couldn’t. It was heartbreaking to find out that my sister couldn’t have her wedding that we were all looking forward to. However, the wedding is happening next year and we are all looking forward to it.

There are many other things I’m not able to do, I was really looking forward to going to college with my friends after my GCSEs. It was going to be great and so much fun.

One thing that is worrying is the fact that I couldn’t do my exams which gave me uncertainty about my grades and how I was going to do as I’m not that academic. But I tried really hard to pull my grades up. I worked so hard to achieve. I stress due to this as I don’t know if I’ll get on the course that I wanted to do at college, but there is always another way.

Also not being able to see my friends really got me down. One of these reasons is that before schools had closed, I was unwell, and I had a cough so I couldn’t go which really made me upset. I didn’t know that, that would be the last time I would see my friends for months on end. But I kept in touch with them through social media.

One thing that really worries me is my mum. This is because she has special needs and I was worried that’s she wouldn’t understand the restrictions resulting to the coronavirus, and that she would go out and socialise and ending up catching the virus and then the worst might happen and that scared me.

I have learnt to bake scones and make a curry and I’ve been helping around the house

My mum is easily influenced by other people so if someone was to come around her house, I’m scared that she would let them in and then put herself in danger. However, I did go and see her because I was worried as she is on her own and my uncle had just died. I went around to cheer her up but I kept within the guidelines of keeping within two meters.

However, I have been trying to keep positive and looking at the bright side of things and keeping myself busy. I have learnt to bake scones and make a curry and I’ve been helping around the house, doing cleaning jobs, doing my washing and learning the importance of a clean house which is life lessons I can take with me in the future when I get my own place.

I have also been doing some art which has been helping me get though the lockdown. Sometimes I do art and get so in my own zone I forget what the time is. Alternatively, sometimes I can’t be bothered to do anything.

Surprisingly, I have missed school. I miss my lessons where people would make jokes, I miss learning with my friends. I miss not being able to hang out and have fun with them at break and lunch.

I will never get the secondary school experience again but I have amazing memories and I’m sure I would make even more at college.

Entry to Voices 2020, the national writing competition for care-experienced young people, in this year’s special category ‘Experiences of Covid-19’. You can read all the shortlisted entries or watch the award ceremony, hosted by Peter Capaldi. This year’s competition is sponsored by Cadence Innova.

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